Vampire Merlot - Oh, The Horror

You can't blame me for trying it. After all, there it was, right before Halloween - Vampire Merlot. Better yet, it was an actual product of Transylvania! Plus, it cost less than five bucks. So who could blame me?

I figured it would be the perfect Halloween wine. And it was -- but it was a TRICK not a TREAT. This is how the company describes this wine...

"An intense dark plum bouquet typical of a very young wine is just starting to open up and reveal the full, true character of this wine. The wine's lively, dark purple color will destroy your carpet so be careful! Already the soft fruit flavors are starting to integrate well with the powerful structure of this wine, which marries soft tannins with vanilla hints of fine American oak. Made in the modern reductive style, this wine is perfect to enjoy now but has the structure to age for many years. A big wine, Vampire Merlot can take on the biggest char-grilled steaks and barbequed pork cutlets that you can throw at it, but it also has the fine elegance of this classic variety, allowing it to be served at parties with buffet foods and dips."

This is how I describe this wine -- "This merlot was to me what the blood of an anemic person would be to a Vampire... thin, sour, and unfulfilling." But what do you expect from a Transylvanian wine? There's a reason it's the home of ghouls, not grapes.

To be fair, the company Vampire Wines also has a California Merlot that I did not try. Their CA wines are from Paso Robles. The company has a whole line of Vampire branded wines, including Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, Cabernet, Pinot Grigio, and even a White Zinfandel (for old lady Vampires?) I give them points for inventiveness (Dracula Syrah anyone?), but frankly, I'll leave this brand to the Children of the Night, and I'll stick with something a bit lighter to have with my stake and garlic. (And a glass of holy water on the side, please.)